You know when the stars align and all is well.....today isn't that day.

Okay, I am having a bad day and it keeps piling up so I am coming to the blog so I can speak my mind, have it out, kick it in its ass and NOT drink.  This day started out promising, I got up, went for a jog, went to an AA meeting and wham, the day started off wrong.  I picked a sponsor in AA because she was educated, new to the area like me, and living a sober life like I wanted.  The problem is she is passive aggressive, and says all of the right things until she does the exact opposite.  I have had a ton of shit piling on me lately, a big huge ton of shit.  I need to be sober so I can deal with it all, since I am the one everyone comes to in my family to straighten things out.  I am not good at asking for help because I've always been of the mindset that people really don't care about my problems, I should handle them myself. I realized that I can't handle everything myself.  I can't.  I need support.  My husband is very supportive and I am grateful for him every day.  But he doesn't get the whole drinking thing, doesn't get why he can take it or leave it when I can't, he doesn't get why I can't just let things with my family go, he just doesn't get how I can go from being happy one minute, to sad the next. 

I think that I need to read some sobriety blogs because I just feel so darn sad.  I'm not going to drink, I am determined.  Thanks for letting me share.  Whats weird is I don't even feel like drinking right now.