So, today is day seven and I'm happy and nervous. My husband has gone out of town for a week for business and the drinky drunky thoughts started while he was packing yesterday. I went to the grocery store and thought how this week would be filled with healthy foods, lots of kale, juicing, and goodness since I wouldn't have the eye roll from the hubster. Then the much louder thoughts that wouldn't shut up were the thoughts of.........here is the lovely wine selection, don't you think the wine selection is fabulous here for grocery store, just look at all of the pretty bottles....you husband will be gone maybe if you buy just one very nice bottle of wine while he is gone you won't have to see his concerned eyes and knowledge that you couldn't hack sobriety and its only one bottle and it would be expensive so you wouldn't have more than the one bottle or maybe for the same price you could get two lesser bottles then you could get a hangover then you wouldn't even want to drink after that and it wouldn't cost as much and he wouldn't know because he is out of town....of course you would have to wait until after he called for the final time in the evening to start drinking because he would know and worry....if you had just one glass before he called or better yet I could call him because then I could control the timing and get into the drinking....
Yikes! I quickly walked away from the wine and went and bought a bottle of blood orange soda instead. I will not drink today, or tomorrow, but I am focusing on today. I think that I'll go to an AA meeting. That is all.
I'm following you. I think a meeting is a great idea. Support and accounts iloty all rolled up in one.
ReplyDeleteI read your relapse story. Thank you so much for sharing. It's crazy how quickly things go back to the way they were. I hear the same story over and over again. And it doesn't seem easy to get back to sobriety, even when you know how much better life can be.
You are on the right path. Don't buy the wine. Create a safe place, with treats and books and bubble bath. Whatever makes you feel good.
You can get back to your real life and leave the booze behind.
Anne
Thank you so much Anne. It is so hard to get back up on the horse. I went to a meeting, it was a great meeting. I love reading the blogs, they are so open, and I see so many similarities. Thanks for reading my blog!
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