Isn't it funny, how I'm supposed to "mean it" (blog title) but yet I haven't been here because I guess I thought I meant it, but I clearly didn't.  Okay, this time I mean it.  I know that I can't grudgingly go toward sobriety.  Here is something that I have been repeatedly told, don't quit before the miracle happens.  I keep quitting.  So, here I am back at it again.  I am feeling positive about things.  I actually am hopeful.   It is so amazing that alcohol can control ones life, even if I'm not drinking, I am usually thinking about my not drinking, or quitting drinking, or when I can drink again.....you know the drill.  So, here I am, sober for a few days, feeling good.   Time to get interested in life again.  One of the things AAisms is "living life on life's terms".  I am going to this sober.  I have two parents that need care, and a sibling that needs care, and I have to learn that I can't take care of anyone if I don't take care of myself.  For now I'm going to do "the next right thing!"